You know exactly in your head, compiled from the lists in your brain of every single game you have played, that objects you use in said games you'd absolutely freakin' love to use in real life. If only they were real! Well, imagine this scenario. Some inventor has invented these objects, available to yours truly. What will you do with them? Well that's entirely up to you. This message will self-destruct in five seconds...
Stealth Suit – Metal Gear Solid
Well me for one, this HAS to be essential. Just imagine the kicks you could get from wearing this! I mean literally, you can kick people and get away with it! Not only that, but you could sneak into the most secure places without leaving a trace, happy slap the idiot that has been stealing your lunch money from year seven, or worse yet... steal stuff... or go to the cinema for free. What?! No one would notice!
The Ocarina of Time/Wind Waker – Zelda OoT/WW
With these classic tools of unthinkable power... just imagine the possibilities! You can change the weather just to piss off the weatherman, conjure storms, and even tornadoes to take you to faraway places. Can't wait until that delivery in the morning? Play the Song of Passing and the Royal Mail are at your doorstep faster than ever before, which most importantly here, is the best thing imaginable, and the most impossible.
General Achievements – Xbox/Playstation/etc
Feeling bored, unmotivated... slacking off? Well worry no more! Real life achievements are the future. 10G/Bronze Trophy for taking a poo? Yes please! Learning to cook? 20G?! Thank you very much. With achievements, life has a lot more of a competitive edge. Sooner or later you and your friends will be tied for the most achievements for downing pints, winning at poker, or even yet, getting sloshed. You win at life, and when death comes everyone will remember that you achieved a ton. Imagine the gamerscore on that... phew.
Pokeballs & Pokemon – Pokemon Universe
Pokemon are created and shit gets real. That's all that can be said. Imagine the social sphere. Battling, trading, caring... basically all the animals on the planet have powers beyond your imagination. Will you use yours for good... or evil? Pikachu would make an awesome pet and would be handy during power cuts. No water? Squirtle will make you a bath and Charizard can heat it up! Want to destroy and level anything? Hell, use Rayquaza and fly through the skies causing utter carnage. Within an instant I can tell these wonderful creatures would be used by the evil of the world though, traded like nuclear weapons for profit, abuse, and potentially used for terrorism. Dark stuff, but lets be realistic. If you had a dragon, what would you do?
Super Mushroom - Mario
Getting picked on? Well grow the f**k up! LITERALLY. With the Super Mushroom, say goodbye to those fools who keep hanging you by your tie onto clothes hooks, wedgying you in the hallway, or throwing stinkbombs at you... You get the meaning. One dose of this happy little mushroom (totally legal mind you!) and you expand three times your size. Goodbye bullies, hello ceiling. Imagine being that size. No one, nobody would ever ever screw with you... unless Doshin the Giant suddenly appeared, which is massively unlikely.